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Poise: A Warrior's Guide, by Gary Stokes
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Poise: A Warrior’s Guide Book Description: Poise: A Warrior's Guide charts a path toward sustained poise, a vibrant, fully alive state of consciousness that allows us to get the most from every moment of life. Poise is a sublime state, sublime because life is at its best when we are self-possessed, self-controlled, assured, in a state of equanimity. Fully poised, we are awake, composed and balanced, free from ego, affectation, fear and embarrassment. Poise is our goal because only in poise do we have access to our full powers. The book highlights how poise brings both pleasure and practical advantage. Poised, we are fully present in our environment, glad to be alive. Poised, we see that this moment is all we need to be happy. Balanced and composed, we are able to draw all that is pleasurable from any situation. Poised, our gratitude is complete, and our hearts are light, no matter what is happening. Poised, we enjoy the pleasure of being in love -- with other people and with our mother earth. Poised, we live in possibility and delight. Poise is the ultimate cool, attractive and sane. Poise brings practical advantages to every situation because poised, we are fully ready to create the best outcomes for others and ourselves. We are able to draw on our considerable personal resources -- physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual -- to capture the full potential of the moment. Poised, we can solve problems better than we can in any other state of consciousness. We hear at our most intuitive level, see with our greatest clarity and use all our senses at their optimal level, so that we can acquiesce to what wants to emerge. The book examines the great costs to us when we lose our poise. Our poise blown, we make mistakes. Our judgment is distorted and we make bad decisions. Without poise, our enjoyment of life is diminished. Worse, our potential evaporates temporarily or even permanently. Failing to sustain our poise, we lose access to our love. Poise reveals what keeps us trapped in a limited life, circling in an eddy, going nowhere. When we lose our poise, a universal pattern of thinking and behavior unfolds. These patterns are deep and difficult to discern, but the reader will learn to see them in the moment and be able to divert them from their usual path. Once we understand this pattern, we can begin to deconstruct our predictable failed responses to our unresolved issues. Rich with examples, the book lays out a clear path toward sustained poise. The reader will learn about letting go of the bad explanations that cause us to lose our poise and learn how to develop good explanations that set us free to flow into every life opportunity. Once we learn how to sustain our poise, our relationships with other people and with our planet will be transformed. This book refers to poised men and women as “warriors” or “warrior travelers,” people who pursue breakthroughs in personal awareness. Warrior travelers are impeccable men and women who give their best at all times. In a deeper sense of impeccability, warriors are keenly aware of the short time we have on earth, thus they bring a vibrant appreciation and zest to every moment. Knowing they have no time to waste, warriors come alive now, joyful, unencumbered, humble and alert. By traversing a path of love and avoiding the worn ruts of ordinary human behavior, warrior travelers seek power, a mobilization of personal energy that allows them to witness the full wonder of the world. Because they strive to become the epitome of poise, nothing could be more fortunate than being a poised warrior.
- Sales Rank: #1873179 in Books
- Brand: Brand: Warrior Publishers
- Published on: 2012-02-27
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.00" h x .45" w x 6.00" l, .60 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 198 pages
- Used Book in Good Condition
Review
Four Stars (out of Five) Monotheistic religions teach the practice of remembering God in each moment. The Sufi poet Rumi wrote about staying awake to life from moment to moment to realize enlightenment. The practices of tai chi and yoga use physical movement to integrate mind, body, and spirit for greater awareness. Gary Stokes presents a psychological approach to this concept in Poise: A Warrior’s Guide. Stokes believes that individuals who cultivate self-awareness can achieve greater balance in their lives and reach a level of equanimity he calls “poise.” The book explains the qualities of poise, describes how individuals compromise their ability to stay poised, and describes Stokes’s own efforts, and those of his friends and loved ones, to live more completely in poise. Throughout the text, Stokes cites the words of influential writers such as Lao Tzu, Fritz Perls, Eckhart Tolle, and Ralph Waldo Emerson. His ideas about personal transformation have been influenced by the books of Carlos Castaneda, whose spiritual guide, Don Juan, designated people seeking enlightenment as “warriors.” Stokes himself has published articles about transformational leadership and a book on organizational development. He teaches individuals and groups to effect personal, corporate, and institutional change in the United States and Eastern Europe. According to Stokes, people often lose poise when they take offense at perceived inequities throughout government, business, and society as a whole without realizing their own involvement in the dynamic. “[I]t is not other people or life challenges that trigger our lost poise,” Stokes says. “It is always our self-pity raging away in our minds that insists on poisoning the precious now with long-past victim stories.” He explains that no one escapes feeling the emotions of self-pity that cause insecure behavior and impact almost all interpersonal encounters. This exaggerated emphasis on protecting “self” causes people to resist change and reject opportunities that might improve their lives. Stokes writes with conviction about a psychological approach that he has found helps people learn to optimize their appreciation of life experiences. He urges readers to work with a trusted friend, loved one, or therapist as they search for greater self-awareness using this methodology. The book begins slowly, with descriptive examples of what poise is. But those who persevere will find that the focus shifts in subsequent chapters to heartfelt personal stories, told by individuals who have agreed to share their experiences, in their own words, with the author. Their struggles to achieve self-awareness reveal the difficult task of identifying self-pity, often disguised as righteous indignation; their efforts to address and alter negative behavior patterns provide significant insight into the process. Concluding chapters contain helpful guidelines for sustaining a person’s level of improved poise. The book will offer significant value to individuals interested in reading about self-improvement. And professional life coaches and therapists will find Poise a practical reference for client treatment. Margaret Cullison
About the Author
Gary Stokes is a coach to leaders of transformational change and President of Mountain Consulting. He has designed and conducted research to test innovative strategies for reducing poverty in partnership with national foundations, federal and state government, and local communities. As founder and CEO of Move the Mountain Leadership Center, he trained hundreds of leaders, among them a Presidential appointee and other top executives in government, education and business. He has written and spoken extensively about the profound personal and organizational challenges facing individual leaders of large-scale change. His book, Poise: A Warrior’s Guide, charts the path toward a fully-realized life, a vibrant integration of presence, connectedness, gratitude, creativity, and light-heartedness. Mr. Stokes lives with his wife and collaborator, Mary Morris, in Prescott, Arizona.
Most helpful customer reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Extraordinary Journey
By Mary Delagardelle
Poise - a word we often use to describe a calm, self-assured, dignified person we have observed, frequently in social situations or as we watched their response to personal challenges. My sister is a person I have always considered to have great poise. She is comfortable with herself and gives generously of her love and time to others. She demonstrated amazing strength and courage when she was widowed at a very young age and raised their only son as a single parent. She is, without a doubt, living a life of poise and gratitude but, until recently, I had no idea what that meant and I had not even begun to appreciate the great depth of character she has modeled. My husband is another person in my life that demonstrates great poise. We will celebrate 40 years of marriage in a few months and in all that time together I can hardly recall a time when he has complained about his circumstances or criticized me in any way. I wish he could say the same thing about me. During these years of benefitting from these incredible people in my life, I espoused a very superficial understanding of the great gifts they were giving me until I read Gary Stokes' groundbreaking work on Poise.
Stokes invites us to take a journey into self-exploration and understanding that has rarely been talked about in the myriad of current literature on "personal growth and enlightenment." He helps us explore the concept of poise as a breakthrough in personal awareness where our hearts are light and our gratitude is complete no matter what is happening to us. Where we are "present, connected, grateful, creative, light-hearted" and participating fully in our lives because we have been able to move away from our worst indulgences - self pity, self importance, negativity, and anger. As challenging as that seems, he goes on to help us examine times when we lose our poise by sharing stories and disclosing his own personal challenges. The reality of knowing the teacher has struggled on the journey makes it approachable and possible for us, as readers, to imagine we have the capacity to confront our own indulgences and explanations of reality that are keeping us trapped in victimhood and unnecessary defenses.
Gary helps us understand that losing our poise seems natural and that regaining poise will take conscious and deliberate effort. It reminded me of the ancient Chinese finger pulls, a simple woven bamboo cylinder used to play practical jokes on unsuspecting "victims". When you put your fingers in both ends of the cylinder your fingers become entrapped. The natural inclination is to immediately pull your fingers outward but that only tightens the grip the toy has on our fingers. We must move in the opposite direction in order to loosen the weave and remove our fingers. Moving in a direction that is opposite to where we are naturally inclined to go in order to free ourselves from the entrapment - that is the work of gaining and sustaining poise.
This is a powerful book that is both provocative and empowering. As Stokes challenges us to live a fuller life filled with love and joy by letting go of self-pity and complaint, he is asking us to take a journey into a side of ourselves that has not been so eloquently described or explored to date. He does not provide us with easy answers or easy self-help "tips" but he does provide description, strategies, encouragement, and confidence that we can "accept responsibility for the life we are creating" for ourselves. He pulls from the work of Carlos Castaneda and the theory of transformational change and helps us turn those theories inward as we embrace the most significant transformation of all - transforming our view of the world and our place in it. Every word is carefully positioned and crafted for maximum impact and every sentence is worthy of reflection.
As you read this book, you may decide you do not agree with Gary's view of the world. You may reject their perspective and you may reject the challenge they put in front of us. You may even choose to hang on to your victim stories and sense of self importance. But, however you choose to respond to this riveting work, I don't believe you will be able to read this book without at least engaging in deep reflection and critical assessment of your current status -- and you will never be the same.
An afterword . . . I recently lost my good friend! He and I had become very close as we navigated an incredible journey that challenged us in ways we could not have imagined we would ever face. Both of us were dealing with extraordinary, life threatening health issues when our professional lives became embroiled in conflict and chaos. We were leaders in an organization that we loved and to which we had committed large amounts of our life energy in pursuit of an honorable mission - when all of a sudden it was crumbling around us. Without realizing it at the time, we became "learning partners" for each other as we shared encouragement and support while collaboratively trying to make sense of what was happening around us. But I had no idea the depth of his despair and now he is gone, leaving behind 5 young children, a loving wife, extended family, good friends, and me.
As I look back on our experience and our friendship, I have concluded that I received much more from him than I gave. I loved my friend and I will be eternally grateful for the opportunity I had to know him and to share his passion as well as his grief because, among many other things, it gave me strength to face my own fears and weaknesses. I see now that our battle to overcome our diseases (mine, late stage cancer and his, mental illness and deep depression) and our struggle to keep our professional lives in some type of positive perspective was a battle to maintain poise. I have begun the journey and I can't go back. In this, the last trimester of my life, I am committed to continue to learn and grow in love and poise for both of us. Thank you Gary for your inspiring work and for inviting me on this journey in pursuit of true peace, love, and connectedness that my dear friend struggled so hard to find.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Living a poised life
By Jeff
In a world filled with chaos and drama, the landscape riddled with victims, rescuers and hostages, this field guide to the spiritual path of living a poised existence is a refreshing invitation to a healthy and life-affirming alternative. Those of us who want to make a difference, who are committed to personal, communal and global change, will find much to ponder and practice.
It is nothing short of an invitation to a new life. For the religious among us it is the experience of death and resurrection. For the secular among us it is the process of claiming one's full potential. For those in recovery it is the daily decision to live the 12 steps as the spiritual path toward sobriety. The book zeroes in on the discipline required to identify and root out self-pity, the nemesis of a deep and connected life. The author invites us to confront our demons - pride, anger, rigidity, fear - all couched comfortably in self-pity, in order to rise like the phoenix from the ashes to engage our loved ones and the world in a full and loving way.
This treatise by Gary Stokes is a clarion call for those of us committed to our own poise and to a case for change that recognizes the divine spark in all humanity and all creation. The closing chapter says it all, a quote from Psalm 1 in the Hebrew Scriptures, acknowledging that even when `our enemies surround us', the universe conspires in our favor as we stand poised to receive its gifts.
All you warriors out there, read, mark, learn and inwardly digest this book. Then prepare to change the world as you are changed!
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Wisdom in the Art of Living
By Amazon Customer
This book is a gem! Gary integrates wisdom in the Art of Living from teachers as early as Jesus to as recent as Tolle. He gives models of how to live a more highly evolved consciousness of love and balance which he terms, "Poise." I especially appreciated his term "learning partner" when referring to his wife Mary. To view unpleasant circumstances as challenges instead if the too common belief in bad luck, with it's inevitable victim responses, is refreshing and helpful. I found this book to be well written and a good read!
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